Ouroboros
by pinkspyder
Summary: Life was never particularly enjoyable, but after meeting him it was a nightmare: one that just wouldn’t stop. Unfortunately for Tess, she didn’t even know she was stuck in a cycle until it was far too late…


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**Hello. Welcome to my first attempt at a full blown story. With an actual plot no less. First of all I'd like to address the fact that I have seen stories with the similar theme of rebirth running around, and most are very good. While having the same theme I suppose my aim, like all other authors, is to make this story unique in some fashion. I'll try my hardest I promise. As it were, this story is about the much ignored Tess and her past memories and experiences. This may or may not develop into 'romance' and even then I am hesitant to say it, because any and all attempts at romance in the JTHM universe are fundamentally...shall we say 'fucked up'? Romance just doesn't bloom naturally in this universe and I'm going to stick to that fact. So, if you consider romance to be: obsessive, abusive, impulsive, horrific, etc, etc... you've come to the right place. If not, well, I can only hope that perhaps you'll give it a chance. Any and all constructive criticism is welcome (and much needed), and please, I beg of you, if the characters step away from their natural personalities even just a millimeter: yell at me. No. Really. All CAPS. and everything. I know there's not much to go on for Tess, but for any other character, please yell. And now on with the prologue, because by the time I finish this author's note will be longer than the prologue.**

**Enjoy.**

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_"Time is infinite, but the things in time, the concrete bodies are finite...Now, however long a time may pass, __according to the eternal laws governing the combinations of this eternal play of repetition, all configurations that have previously exsisted on this earth __must yet meet, attract, repulse, kiss, and corrupt each other again..."_

_- Heinrich Heine_

_--_

Life was strange.

Only these days life seemed to have gotten stranger for Tess.

She'd always known life evolved, but she'd never thought she'd actually be one to experience it first hand.

She'd evolved from an invertebrate to a vertebrate.

In layman's terms: she grew a backbone.

It wasn't a very strong one, but the fact that it was there gave her some semblance of hope for the future. And as weak as it was it still gave her a giddy high every time she managed to say 'No' to someone. Like right now for instance. It had taken her ages but she'd finally done it. She'd told the infamous Anne Gwish to shut the fuck up and mind her own business.

Well.

Maybe not in those exact words, but in essence that was it.

Tess smiled to herself and made a small pirouette in the dark street as she walked home. Just the memory of it still thrilled her. Not even the overhanging threat of gruesome nightmares soon to come could make her calm down.

Okay.

So that was a lie, maybe it did more than just calm her down.

Staring up at her apartment building she wondered what she could keep herself busy with this night. Reorganizing her personal library? Reorganizing her food by color and letter? Reading about quantum physics? Listening to grating thrash metal? Something, anything that would keep her awake until she could sleep dreamlessly for an hour or so?

Yeah. She'd think of something. The lack of sleep was starting to get to her, but if that's what it took to keep visions of demonic tentacles, gunshot wounds, hysterical cackles, and manic grins away then she'd do it.

Tess listened to her footsteps echo in the apartment stairwell. Despite everything the silence calmed her nerves a little. It was so unlike her nightmare. Where the walls would hiss, groan, and weep blood. The click of her key twisting the lock of her door boomed in the stillness and tiredly Tess entered her light flooded apartment.

She collapsed on the couch, all the energy drained from her by the thoughts of her dream. It was a recurring one; Over and over and over again. For two weeks she'd woken up screaming, sweating, and clawing at her blankets in sheer terror. She'd finally gotten sick of it. So instead she worked herself up into boredom until no dreams would come.

Letting her head loll to the side she stared at the fluorescent orange pill bottle that seemed to stare right back at her from the small coffee table.

She had several bottles lying around the house.

Each one of them a different kind of benzo.

They were her last resort, if the nightmare came regardless, because there were nights in which the nightmare would mutate into a night terror. When she'd open her eyes into the dark and feel the phantom touch of slimy tentacles. Her nightmare could never break through a drug induced coma.

Though despite the fact that her recurring nightmare was gruesome, it wasn't the amount of gore falling off of the walls and into an endless pit that scared her -though of course she'd admit that it certainly helped a lot- it was the niggling sensation of a memory trying to be regained.

That was the heart of it.

What scared Tess shitless every time she woke up clutching at blankets and tear-soaked pillows was the eerie feeling that what was meant to be a result of a brain-chemical imbalance was in fact real.

A memory.

She remembered once how she'd tried to regain that memory, asking countless questions that had no answers and no logical explanation.

Rolling onto the floor from the couch she decided to leave the question alone once again and crawled her way towards the low table, reaching for a book next to her pill bottle.

For now she'd try and forget. If she couldn't remember then maybe she'd have a better time at forgetting. After all, what good would it do her to regain a memory, especially one such as this? Didn't people always say that life moved on? It was definitely better to forget the past in this case.

With this happy thought in mind Tess continued reading her book, feeling a little better about her prospects in the future.

It was unfortunate though.

She'd forgotten another thing people liked to say all the time.

People who forget their history…are doomed to repeat it.

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**Just the prologue, so I appologize for its brevity. Also, next chapter: dialogue. Please tell me what you think, it'd be much appreciated.**


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